GOP Response to State of the Union Address: “Too Much Hope”

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WASHINGTON – After last night’s State of the Union address, Sen. Marco Rubio (FL), in what was first thought to be an ad for Pellegrino, gave the GOP’s rebuttal.

“It has become very clear that the President is obsessed with giving the American people something that we as a party have labored to suppress – hope,” said Rubio.

Tea Party favorite Sen. Rand Paul (KY) blasted both the Democratic and Republican Party for “giving up their ‘sacred cows'” and asserted that lawmakers on both sides “should be sent home”.  Today Paul was reminded that he was also a Republican, and a lawmaker.  Paul had no further comment.

Singer and Ultra Conservative Ted Nugent was reported to have thrown a hissy fit on Fox News after being denied a chance to respond to Obama’s address.   “First Steve Stockman invites me to the State of the Union address, then he doesn’t allow me to talk.  I felt like one of my groupies.  At least he bought me dinner afterward.”

In related news, former vice president Dick Cheney said in an interview with Charlie Rose that “Obama wants to weaken our role in the world, rather than what I wanted, which of course, was to rule it.”  Strangely enough, studio personnel uncovered a pentangle under the former vice president’s chair after the interview…

By clavius42

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