Today stalkers worldwide praised Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg for his new design of the popular social network. “He has become a hero in our community,” says Anonymous. “Thanks to new features such as Timeline and Ticker, I can follow as many people as I want, when I want, and I don’t even have to use my camera.”
Apps such as Spotify and Skype will transfer their information directly to the new Ticker, enabling people to see everything another person is doing. “Pure stalker bliss” seems to be the reaction from many people with undisclosed identities.
Unknown comments that “this new Facebook design will open doors for new stalkers that they wish they could open, and without those pesky home security codes. The original Facebook was a landmark for us, but this new design shows the promise of a new era for invading the privacy of our obsessions. Thank you, Mr. Zuckerberg!”
In related news, after learning that Mr. Zuckerberg is a member of Google Plus, stalkers of the Facebook CEO are announcing a new Google Group.