WASHINGTON – The Republican Party is up in arms today after discovering that in spite of their criticism of his faith in America, President Obama is still managing to do the right thing. House Speaker John Boehner complained, “by definition, ‘do the right thing’ implies our conservative views, but that doesn’t keep us from avoiding it.”
A lobby has commenced against Obama to stop the President from spreading his confidence in America worldwide. “Clearly this gives the wrong impression to countries we may want to bomb in the future,” said Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.
The GOP has concentrated their efforts on taking everything that Obama says out of context. “It’s like a secret code, and we must decipher the meaning. For instance, Obama didn’t mention God in his Thanksgiving message, which also suggests he says nothing when someone sneezes, which is clearly un-American!”
Presidential hopeful Rick Perry also attacked Obama for referring to the U.S. as “becoming lazy”. “Not only is this a direct attack at America, but for all decent people who take naps!”
Another hopeful, Mitt Romney defended the misquoting of Obama in Romney’s recent attack ad by saying, “McCain may have said it, but you know Obama was probably thinking about it when he planned to say it, which is guilt by association in my book.”
The GOP promises further measures will be taken in the near future to keep Obama from spreading his message of hope in favor of their message of hope.