Ron Paul Says Doomsday Upon Us, Why He’s Perfect For Last Days On Earth

Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul has declared that he fears the United Nations will take control of the U.S. money supply, but “that will just be the beginning of the end for our civilization”. “I fear there will be eroding civil liberties, a Soviet Union-style economic collapse, violence in the streets, dogs and cats living together – mass hysteria!”

Paul is using this apocalyptic scenario as his platform for the presidency. “I can’t promise that I will solve every problem, but I can promise that I will be the best man for the job in the final days of mankind.”

After news of Paul’s predictions hit the internet, people have started to reconsider their opposition to electing one of the Republican nominees. “If the world is indeed going to end soon, what the hell, give one of them a shot.”

A representative for Paul defends his message of the impending apocalypse. “If you really think about it, there have been multiple warning signs – possible government shutdowns, natural disasters, the Kardashians…”

Paul added that he wished to amend his doomsday predictions somewhat. The ‘dogs and cats living together’ thing? That may have been because I was watching Ghostbusters recently. But the rest of it came straight from the voices in my head!”

In related news, both Harold Camping and Glenn Beck announced that they are endorsing Ron Paul…

By clavius42

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