GOP Candidates Deny Contradictions of Statements, Then Admit To Them

WASHINGTON – With the South Carolina primary a week away, many GOP candidates have come under fire for contradicting many statements they have made in the last few months. Mitt Romney says, “Mr. Gingrich chastised me for my ads, which I have not seen, or heard of, until he mentioned them. By the same token, I did actually co-write them and I was on the set. But that does not mean that I have actually seen them.”

Newt Gingrich has also been caught in the spotlight, particularly about his beliefs in the sacred union of marriage. “I believe that all three of my wives will tell you that when I was with them, my attention was more or less on them. And that is what I believe to be a sacred union.”

Rick Santorum recently denied that he had made references to “Black” people. “I have studied the recording repeatedly, and I can say for a fact that I did not say ‘black’, but ‘worthless gay Palestinians’. And I stand by what I say, at least until next week.”

Ron Paul also voiced his concerns over newsletters which contained racist comments. “I will not admit connections to these reprehensible comments, unless it gets me votes.”

Presidential hopeful and current snowball in Hell Rick Perry doesn’t understand the furor caused by accusations of contradictions. “Everything I say, by definition, is a contradiction. My name – for instance. ‘Rick’ does not mean ‘Perry’. Ha! That’ll show ya!”

The race for the White House promises to be a battle not unlike the one featured in the movie Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome – six men will enter, but no facts will come out.

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By clavius42

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