South Carolina GOP Debate Huge Win For People Who Didn’t Watch It

The much anticipated GOP debate in South Carolina with existing candidates Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, and Newt Gingrich* promised to be a bloodbath, with the majority of attacks levied at front-runner Romney. But at the end of the evening, the clear winner was anyone who skipped the debate.

Record numbers of people reported that since the debate was on Fox News, and the existing candidates were their least favorites, they figured that their time was better spent doing other things. “I for one, admire them,” said one debate attendee. “And to think I hired a babysitter for tonight. My kids had a better evening than my wife and I did!”

Although reports on the internet were unusually sparse, one highlight of the night’s events was Fox News commentator Juan Williams question to Rick Perry, when he was asked to name the regulations on venture capital that he would support. “I think there’s three of them – lesse, ‘benefits something’?”

The attacks on Romney were quick and painful, calling him on releasing his tax records, his association with private equity firm Bain Capital, and his criticism of Rick Santorum’s views on the rights of criminals to vote. “This is Martin Luther King Day,” Santorum said. “This is a huge deal for Blacks – um, coloreds – so I need to address this issue with you in this debate in order to look credible…”

Jon Huntsman, who recently left the race, offered this commentary after the debate. “It was a very important moment, and I’m sorry I missed it, but I had more important things to take care of, like watching the Golden Globes I Tivoed.” Curiously, that was a similar answer by most people polled.

* oh yeah, Ron Paul was there too

Advertisements
By clavius42

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s