THIS JUST IN!

…and then there were four…
BREAKING: Rick Perry to drop out of presidential race.
IN MEMORIAM
His Political Career
WAY TOO LONG

And speaking as a Texan…
WE DON”T WANT HIM BACK!

Here’s your parting gift…

Rick Perry calls on mannequin while taking questions at South Carolina campaign stop. In related news, mannequin also only one to support Perry…

Rick Perry says he is entitled to “double-dip” on his compensation. “Where is it written that I can’t get paid twice for doing nuthin’???”

Rick Perry apologizes for gaffe at GOP debate. “The American people deserve a response about whatever it was I said…”

Rick Perry says he regrets doing the 2012 debates. “I’m uncomfortable with anything that isn’t rigged…”

This just in – American Medical Marijuana Association to endorse Rick Perry…

Funyuns and Cheese Doodles to sponsor Perry campaign…

This just in – Rick Perry introduces new 4/20 plan in New Hampshire Speech…

Perry says that he intends to defend “joint cooperation among party members”, then added, “oh wow…”

Comments by Rick Perry anger New Hampshire audience. “More importantly, he didn’t offer what he was smoking…”

Rick Perry says Obama birth certificate issue “a good one to keep alive”; American people suggest someone should “pull the plug” on his campaign.

New Rick Perry campaign slogan – “He’ll take America to a new high!”

Rick Perry promises to bring the nation together and to eliminate spending. But he says that it won’t be cheap, and he doesn’t care who it affects.

Rick Perry hopes to save campaign by keeping mouth shut at next debate. Hopefully the other candidates will follow suit.

Rick Perry expresses doubt about whether humans are causing climate change. “Except me, of course. I’m a disaster waiting to happen…”

After his dialogue with Mitt Romney, fans of Rick Perry say they believe/don’t believe that Perry is for/against their cause and therefore support/don’t support his campaign…

Rick Perry debuts new campaign ad; Michael Bay says “it’s over the top”…

Rick Perry says that he plans to do to America what he has done for Texas. “I’ll be behind y’all, ’cause that’s my favorite position.”

Rick Perry detractors criticize his 2007 attempt to mandate vaccinations of sixth-grade girls, “but the real prick here is Rick Perry.”

This just in – Bobby Jindal to endorse Rick Perry for president because “I had nothing better to do…”

Rick Perry says he is prepared to fix the economy by shooting it, which has worked for him so far…

Nationwide polls suggest that if Rick Perry gets elected by prayer, we won’t have one…

Rick Perry prays for rain – no rain. He cuts volunteer firefighter funding, Texas gets wildfires. But he is offering a free Nintendo 3DS for anyone who votes for him…

Rick Perry’s detractors offended by book he wrote several months ago, also surprised his supporters can read…

Rick Perry flies to North Carolina, planning to part the waters. “And if that doesn’t work, I’ll shoot it…”

Canadian officials predict that applications for citizenship will skyrocket if Rick Perry is elected…

Rick Perry promises that if elected he will change the Constitution. “I plan to remove anything I find objectionable except that one ’bout guns.”

George W. Bush publicly expresses sympathy for Rick Perry. “All of us sufferers of ‘Foot in Mouth’ disease gotta stick together…”

Advocates for the separation of church and state oppose Rick Perry’s upcoming rally, calling for separation of his head from his neck…

Governor Rick Perry announces presidential bid, explaining that “we need another idiot from Texas as president”…

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By clavius42

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