THIS JUST IN!

@rupertmurdoch Hey Google! Piracy is wrong. But tapping phones & bribing cops is cool. #badrap #obamaisthedevil

George Lucas announces he is retiring, “now that I have ruined the Star Wars franchise to the best of my abilities”…

Rick Perry drops out of presidential race, but vows that he will return, “in Texans’ nightmares”…

Second wife says Newt Gingrich wanted “open marriage” arrangement, “because he felt that he just wasn’t being dickish enough…”

Captain of cruise ship disaster says he tripped into lifeboat, denies accusations of escape. “I did what any good pussy would do…”

Mitt Romney says “people who say I am out of touch just don’t have the burden of having more than one house…”

 

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By clavius42

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