TAMPA, FL – Monday evening the GOP presidential debate between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich was full to the brim with several revelations. But the most surprising discovery was that there were two other candidates onstage.
“Mr. Gingrich and Mr. Romney opened with some personal attacks as usual, inciting each other, when all of a sudden there were other voices coming from the direction of the stage!” said moderator Brian Williams. “Throughout the evening, there were intermittent interruptions of the Gingrich/Romney debate by a couple of people who were under the mistaken impression that anyone was listening to them.”
Sources close to the Republican party revealed that Ron Paul and Rick Santorum were, indeed, standing next to Romney and Gingrich. “There were obvious clues to people who watched the debate on television,” explained a GOP representative. “When Romney or Gingrich were facing each other, the arms on the side of the screens were clearly not theirs.”
Highlights of the debate included Gingrich’s criticisms of Romney’s family values while checking his page on Match.com, repeated attacks by Romney against Gingrich for ruining his “average income person” punchlines, and taking turns exclaiming that they were offended by topics posed by Brian Williams.
“In the end, I hope that whomever is still awake will cast their votes,” said Williams after the debate. “I also hope that I can host the debate with whomever is selected, just so I can be there when Obama rips him a new one…”