Gingrich Promises Moon Base By 2020, Outsourced Jobs By 2024

MIAMI, FL (Duh) – Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich announced this week that “by my second term as President of the United States, I promise an American moon base.”

He also detailed his plan for outsourcing American jobs to people who colonize the Moon, stating that “these jobs would no longer be taken by foreigners, but by other Americans, so I don’t see how this would create a problem.”

Critics within the Republican party have denounced his plan and rallied to make sure that it will not become a reality, which, as one member said, “Mr. Gingrich seems to have no grasp of.”

However, ardent supporters of Gingrich look forward to the controversial plan. Fox News analyst Keith Ablow says, “to think that someone would have these sort of ideas and not be able to lead America – I think we should just give him the presidency right now! And also, my phone number.”

In related news, polls conducted after the CNN debate show that Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney are “neck in neck” for “source of disappointment for human race”…

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By clavius42

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