MESA, AZ – Even with the last televised GOP debate airing tonight, CNN wants viewers to know that their ongoing coverage of the recently deceased pop singer Whitney Houston will not be interrupted. “We are one of the leaders in 24 hour news networks with incredibly bad taste, and we will not forfeit our reputation just to focus solely on tonight’s debate,” says CNN spokesman M. Jackson.
The Arizona debate has now been renamed the Whitney Houston Memorial GOP Debate, and will feature, among other things, trivia about the pop star throughout the evening. “Candidates will be answering tough questions about the economy, religion, and the state of America while fielding questions from the moderator about how many of Whitney’s albums went gold,” says debate organizer E. Presley.
Lead nominee Rick Santorum is enthusiastic about the tribute/debate. “This is the most important event leading up to Super Tuesday for me, but most of all, I believe the people of Arizona are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Mitt Romney, anxious to recover from Santorum’s five state win in the primaries, is skeptical, but hopeful nonetheless. “How will I know if they really love me? I say a prayer with every heart beat.”
In related news, President Barack Obama had this to say about Santorum’s opposition to his contraception bill – “My only wish is that Mr. Santorum’s mother had practiced it.”