Recent comments on his radio show by Conservative Rush Limbaugh encouraged the Senate to investigate the source of the inflammatory remarks. “His comments regarding women and their contraception, particularly when he demanded that they send him videos of their sexual acts just proved what many of us have suspected – Mr. Limbaugh is, in fact, a tree sloth. Slight evolved, but a tree sloth nonetheless.”
“If you look at images of the common tree sloth and compare them to photos of Rush Limbaugh, the similarities can’t be a coincidence,” says one White House insider. “His increasingly hateful musings on women, anyone who doesn’t believe what he says, and anything that he doesn’t care to understand – it’s only a matter of time until his speech will devolve into a series of grunts, much like the sloth he really is. Of course, his regular listeners will never be able to detect the difference.”
In related news, a representative for tree sloths has announced that they have every intention to sue for defamation of character.