WASHINGTON – Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is soon to announce the decision made concerning the health care law known as “Obamacare”, but was open with the press with his consideration for another possible law. “You all know how I feel about the controversial law in my sights, but after much thought, I feel that the American people could use more broccoli in their diet, and the first step would be issuing a mandate.”
The so-called “broccoli mandate” would make anyone not eating broccoli a criminal, but not affect those in possession of handguns. Details are sketchy at this time, but some believe that it will not pertain to other types of cabbage, which may incite various militant vegetable groups.
It is looking more and more possible that the Supreme Court will strike down the health care law as unconstitutional, but insiders say that the “broccoli mandate” is being fully supported by anyone in Congress who were also little boys growing up with their mothers. “Since that is probably at least all of them, I think this will be a no-brainer. And as you know, Congress is all about no-brainers,” said one insider.
In related news, rumor has it that the $540 million Mega Lottery will be announced, the winners will take the money, the GOP will abscond with it, and then funnel it into various super PACS…