Romney Half-Heartedly Endorsed by Top Political Figures

After GOP top nominee Mitt Romney’s primary wins in Wisconsin, District of Columbia, and Maryland, endorsements have flooded in for the governor. The GOP as well as the Tea Party have voiced their full support for Romney, unless “someone else wins.”

Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who recently endorsed Romney said that “he is the best choice so far, and compared to being buried neck deep in an anthill, I just might not take the anthill.”

House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan said today that “my endorsement of the governor is unyielding, unless of course someone decides to drag me naked through broken glass.”

“It’s a fairly important step toward a possible Republican presidency, and I feel that in all of our hearts, we half-heartedly support Romney and look forward to dealing with him for four years,” said House Speaker John Boehner today. He then added, “but only four years.”

Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson voiced his full support of Romney, barring anything unforeseen like the the end of the world, the Rapture, or, in his words, “please God someone else deciding to join the race.”

The GOP also said that after Sarah Palin’s co-host stint on The Today Show, they would even consider her, of course, until Palin signed for another book deal or an invitation to participate on Celebrity Apprentice.

“He is my top choice for President of the United States,” said George H.W. Bush in his endorsement of Mitt Romney, “and I thank God every day that my son will never be able to run again!”

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By clavius42

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