Hi. I’m Ann Romney.
I am happy to represent the working women of America. In fact, some of them are my best maids. But when you’re a stay-at-home mom like I am, you need some time, like all mothers do, to relax, have a Crozes-Hermitage La Guiraude 2009 and nibble on some smoked salmon and leek scramble with, of course, some meyer lemon crème fraîche. But I’m not here to suggest menus, but to offer encouragement to those who will never be in my tax bracket. Once my husband is elected President of the United States, he promises women nationwide that they will be secure in their hopes of attaining the best for their families, though all that will still remain will be their hopes.
Also, when I said that people should get to know the real Mitt by unzipping him and letting him out, I want to clarify that he has always been stiff in private, and when it comes to the American people, he is ready to whip out his policies and show America that he is up to the task!
And to my critics, such as Hillary Rosen, I offer this – I may not have worked a day in my life, but I know what women go through, thanks to numerous viewings of assorted reality shows, and of course, the engrossing programming of Lifetime Television.
I wish you all the best, and hope that you all soon share my happiness when my husband is elected President of the United States.
Now if you will excuse me, my lawn doesn’t cut itself and Mitt’s car elevators need maintenance, so Consuela and Pedro, get to it.