EXCLUSIVE! Transcript of Secret Service Interview With Ted Nugent *

SS: State your name for the record.

TN: Really?

SS: Nah, not really. Okay, it says here that you said that “if Barack Obama becomes president in November, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

TN: Free speech dude! Look it up!

SS: “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November, and if you don’t clean house in this vile, evil, America-hating administration, I don’t even know what you’re made out of.”

TN: That was out of context.

SS: “I’m a Black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally, and there are some power-abusing, corrupt monsters in our federal government that despise me because I have the audacity to speak the truth.” You said this to conservative radio host Dana Loesch.

TN: I’m not a Black Jew, but I am in a minority! I am willing to speak the truth, because people gotta know what Obama really is!

SS: You also compared DNC chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to “varmints.”

TN: Okay! Cards on the table? Guys, I have to do something to stay in the spotlight! I can’t keep playing “Cat Scratch Fever” forever, or any other of my greatest hits.

SS: You had others?

TN: Not really. Anyway, I figured the best way to get on the national stage was to do what’s trending among Republicans – badmouth Obama!

SS: Well, the Secret Service doesn’t badmouth the President, and until now we don’t ignite scandals.

TN: Really?

SS: Si. The point is, the kind of language you used is inflammatory and suggests the possible violent overthrow of our government. These kinds of scare tactics are practically copyrighted by Fox News.

TN: True.

SS: So do you promise not to use this type of language again?

TN: Well…

SS: “Dead or in jail.” Your words.

TN: Okay okay! Hey maybe we can spice this up a bit, huh? You guys give me a good press statement? There’s money in it!

SS: How much?

TN: How about thirty dollars?

SS: Interview finished! Take him into custody!

verified by Wikipedia

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By clavius42

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