Santorum Endorses Romney, Sea Monkeys, Tab Cola

WASHINGTON – Today Rick Santorum issued a press statement clarifying that, in addition to endorsing Mitt Romney as presidential candidate for the GOP, he also endorses the popular creatures known as Sea Monkeys, and the soft drink of the ’70’s, Tab Cola.

“I believe that all of these items are equal in validity,” said Santorum. “I fully support all of them, and wish most of them the best success in their endeavors. I would also like to add that Sea Monkeys are real, and a provision should be made for them in the Paul Ryan budget plan.”

When asked to explain further his endorsement for Mitt Romney, he replied, “I can’t comment on the new presidential hopeful without mentioning Sea Monkeys and Tab Cola.”

Critics of Santorum have voiced their concerns with the sincerity of his endorsement of Romney. “To lump Romney in with two archaic items is just crazy. But then again, we are talking about Santorum.”

Sources close to Santorum say that he is defending his decisions, and in no way intends malice toward Romney in defeating him. They claim that the triple endorsement expresses his true feelings “toward each product”.

In related news, Michele Bachmann changed her opinion of Mitt Romney, in her words, “keeping with the Romney campaign…”

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By clavius42

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