Today, among many announcements of shows given the axe by NBC, ABC, and CBS, such as Harry’s Law and GCB, Fox has decided to cancel the 24 hour news network Fox News after a record breaking fifteen seasons.
“People were tuning in, hoping for the satire of The Onion News Network, or even the ridiculousness of CNN, and we just had to keep telling them that it was an actual news network. But alas, no one was buying it, and eventually interest has waned,” said one Fox executive.
Television critics had long been berating Fox News for “paper thin characters, outrageous plot developments, and a sheer lack of quality.” “I do, however salute the performers,” one critic said. “It takes some real talent to deliver that dialogue and not break out into uncontrollable laughter.”
Making way for the new Fall season, the “Fox News 24 Hour News Network” will be replaced by test patterns and infomercials, which have been suggested because they seem to have more substance.
“But just to clarify,” a representative for Fox explained, “the infomercials will now be for cheap useless products, not conservative politicians. Sorry for the confusion.”