GOP Prepared To Destroy Earth To Prevent Obama’s Second Term

WASHINGTON – Today House Speaker John Boehner remarked during a session of Congress that, “speaking for my party, we are fully prepared to let the world end to keep Barack Obama from having a second term as President of the United States.”

“If we all join in and ensure the ultimate destruction of our species, at least Obama will not be President,” said Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.  “That has been my goal since he was elected, and will be until the day I die, which contrary to various reports, was not in fact several years ago.”

Many critics have pointed out that if the GOP carries out their plan for the doom of the human race, there will be no government or anyone to preside.  “That’s beside the point,” responded presidential nominee Mitt Romney.  “And at least there will be no big government!”

Fox News has announced that they will start a Summer campaign called “The End Is Nigh If We Have Anything To Do With It,” headed by Rush Limbaugh and former host and inmate Glenn Beck.  Beck commented, “the end of the world is just what I have been talking about for years, and now that it just might happen, and the party I support will be responsible – I’m in an uncharted state of bliss.”

In related news, a recent poll conducted suggests that if Mitt Romney is elected, people say it will be the end of the world…

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By clavius42

2 comments on “GOP Prepared To Destroy Earth To Prevent Obama’s Second Term

  1. ”That has been my goal since he was elected, and will be until the day I die, which contrary to various reports, was not in fact several years ago.” – quality work there, man.

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