Romney: “You Can Take My Money Out of My Cold Dead Hands!”

After requesting that his bank accounts in Switzerland and the Cayman Islands be transparent, and also to make his tax returns public, GOP nominee Mitt Romney defended himself.  “There is nothing illegal about having offshore funds, just as there is nothing wrong with lack of morals.”

“The day when a rich person is held accountable for where their money is, or even so far as to show people their tax returns – well, if I am elected, I will abolish that day!”

Members of the GOP have said that they support Romney and his refusal to reveal information.  “Refusing to disclose sources of money is what drives the idea of our Super PACs,” said House Speaker John Boehner.  “In fact, refusing to disclose anything is the cornerstone of the Republican Party.”

It has also been confirmed that Romney has a “tax shelter” for his returns.  “It’s an actual physical shelter where he keeps them,” explained a Washington insider.  “We are still looking into the possibility that one of his many houses may also have been built specifically for his money as a tribute, kinda like Elvis and Graceland for his mother…”

In related news, recently revealed possible picks for Romney’s VP, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal and Wisconsin Representative Paul Ryan, might influence more people to re-elect President Obama…

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By clavius42

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