After the horrific shootings in Aurora, Colorado, leading members of the National Rifle Association are telling their members to brace themselves for the worst, particularly an unstoppable flood of common sense when it comes to gun laws.
“We pride ourselves on our preparation for and handling of anything, usually by shooting it, but this incident may possibly persuade people to reconsider their attitudes about guns, and we can’t have that,” said a NRA representative. “Luckily, we have donated to several unnamed Super PACs to make sure it doesn’t happen.”
The GOP in particular is feeling the heat as well. “Common sense has been rearing its ugly head lately, and our party is taking a big hit from it. But it has always been our enemy, so this is nothing new.”
“Oh sure, people will say that this tragic event is just another reason why stronger gun laws should be implemented, but if people with mental issues were investigated more thoroughly, our party’s numbers would drop severely.”
Rush Limbaugh said recently that the Bane character in the new Batman movie The Dark Knight Rises is just a Liberal attack on the possible corruption tied to Mitt Romney and Bain Capital. “But the mere idea that people would rethink their views on gun control in the aftermath of the shootings – well, that’s just crazy…”