Upon arrival from his European tour, a spokesman for the Mitt Romney campaign officially declared that the trip was a “resounding success, and truly one for the books”. “We couldn’t be more happy with the outcome,” he explained earlier today. “Our only regret is that Romney wasn’t able to offend more countries.”
His comments on London’s Olympic Games security, Obama’s handling of regional diplomacy in Poland, disparagement of organized labor, and generally pissing off the Palestinians, added to up to what many called a debacle, but the Romney campaign insists that it was the plan all along.
“I call it the Foreign Relation Alienation Tour,” said Romney in a press statement. I wanted to see if I could spread the unease of my campaign overseas, having started with both political parties here in America. It’s a long term goal of mine, since I have now given up on pleasing everyone.”
The GOP is up in arms about the supposed plan. “Had we known that this is what he had in mind all along, we would have worked with him to insure that, even if he had achieved his goal, our ass would have been covered,” said House Speaker John Boehner.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney expressed his pleasure in a press statement earlier this week. “I usually speak for President Obama, but I gotta tell ya, I am enjoying the hell out of this!”
In related news, the Republican Party has announced that they may be consulting Craigslist for possible alternative candidates…