It has been reported that Rep. Kevin Yoder, R-Kansas, joined his colleagues last summer in a drunken late night swim at the Sea of Galilee in Israel, then proceeded to remove his clothes. In an apology today, Yoder said that
“if I have let down the people of Kansas in any way, I would like to clarify that the water was very cold that night.”
House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was on the trip with Yoder, but says that he was not present for the late night dip because he was “at the hotel devising new ways to screw the the poor”.
The GOP convened over the night to discuss the matter, and this morning they introduced a mandate calling for a definition of the term “skinny dipping”. “In the terms of last summer’s incident, we would like a clarification of the practice, and the parameters of said act,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “If Jesus did in fact walk on water in the Sea of Galilee, would he have condoned the alleged drinking and ‘skinny dipping’ behavior, and if not, what can we do to modify the scriptures to save face? It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”
In related news, GOP Senate candidate Todd Akin says he “misspoke” with his recent “legitimate rape” comment – “if there’s anything I know less about, it’s legitimacy…”