DATE: August 25, 2012
FROM: RNC Chairman Reince Priebus @Reince
TO: Interested Parties (i.e. Fox News)
RE: RNC Convention
Due to the severe weather reports for the Tampa Bay area, the Republican National Convention will convene on Monday August 27th and immediately recess until Tuesday afternoon, August 28th, exact time to follow.
Our priority other than blaming this on Obama, is to ensure the safety of delegates, alternates, guests, members of the media (i.e. Fox News) attending the Republican National Convention, and Conservative citizens of the Tampa Bay area (i.e. rich White people).
The Republican National Convention will take place and officially nominate Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, against all of our inner (better) wishes.
NOTE: The Todd Akin science demonstration has been cancelled.
We are instead featuring Sarah Palin. LOL A little RNC joke there!
The Convention staff is working around-the-clock to ensure the delegations housed in storm-impacted areas have alternative housing if needed, and are prepared to kick any person(s) on welfare and/or illegal immigrants out of their homes. This is storm season, so they should be used to sleeping in shelters by now.
We hope that when the convention reconvenes on Tuesday, the storm will have settled, and the rest of the week goes relatively smooth, that is, unless anyone decides to open their mouths on camera.
Sincerely, (Ha! Another joke there! Zing!)
Reince “Grover” Priebus