TAMPA – On the last night of the Republican National Committee convention, a surprise guest was introduced, who talked to a chair and rambled mostly incoherently. Sources have confirmed, however, that it was not John McCain.
“If it was McCain, the speech would have been more believable,” said one source. “But it was, in fact, Clint Eastwood.”
Attendees of the convention, including national media, suggested several possibilities, including the idea that Clint Eastwood was performing a segment of a one man show about McCain. But a representative for Eastwood confirmed that no show was in the works.
When asked for a comment by the Romney campaign, an adviser was unable to say anything, as he was still incredibly hung over from the mass quantities of alcohol he had consumed during Eastwood’s speech. He did offer one thought, however. “I kinda wish it had been McCain,” he said.
Eastwood, a member of several organizations, including Old Farts Who Should Wrap it Up, said that he could explain the words he delivered, “if I could remember them”.
In related news, Mitt Romney accepted the official nomination for President of the United States, and revealed that “now is the time for America to turn the page, and also for me to finally and actually start coming up with the plans I have been talking about…”