CHARLOTTE, N.C. – Former President Bill Clinton made a rousing speech last night, detailing every one of the GOP’s issues with Obama.
“He used such words as ‘arithmetic’ and ‘facts’, which probably confused many Conservatives,” said DNC Chairman Antonio Villaraigosa today.
Earlier today it was revealed that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan had prepared a response to Clinton’s speech, but due to disinterest, it was not aired and replaced by reruns of The Biggest Loser.
“This was not a crucial blow,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “And the American people will soon realize that, according to what I and my fellow Conservatives believe in our alternative dimension where Obama is Hitler and Michael Bay’s films are classics.”
Twitter was all atwitter with tweets about Clinton’s speech at the DNC, most praising his words and his ability to, in one tweet, “tear the GOP a new one”. There were many opposing responses, too, but most were comprised of profanity, misspellings, and bad uses of grammar (also known in the Twitterverse as Tea Partying).
Tonight Barack Obama will be delivering his much anticipated speech to the DNC, and insiders have just revealed that it will the shortest acceptance speech in political history, because Obama will take the stage, simply point at Clinton, and say, “what he said!”.