CHARLOTTE, N.C. – After the final night of the Democratic National Convention, Mitt Romney ran a slew of political ads aimed at President Obama.
“His words, inspiring as they were, just proved a point that I have been making all along,” said Romney. “Waking people up to the realities of what is actually going on is the direct opposite of what our goals are. Are we better off than when we were four years ago? Sure, but the American people don’t need to know that. Let my party dream!”
The ads, mostly comprised of attacks on Obama’s job record, have been aimed at people who read and watch the news, but, in one Conservative’s words, “don’t get it, and we count on that.”
“Obama also just doesn’t get it,” added Romney. “His job record clearly shows that I would be the best man for the job, because I know what happens to people when they are unemployed, as I have had a great deal of experience firing them.”
GOP Chairman Reince Priebus has declared that this week’s convention was a dismal failure, even citing what Fox News reporter Brit Hume said earlier this week. “Everything was carefully orchestrated, from the sound system to the artificial cheers of the so-called audience. It was less convincing than the CGI we used last week…”
In related news, a poll showed that 85% of viewers said that the convention was a hit for the Democratic Party, and 15% of viewers didn’t have an opinion because they hadn’t had their coffee yet…