Recently, GOP nominee and Hair Club for Men spokesman Mitt Romney accused President Obama of wanting to remove the phrase “In God We Trust” from all U.S. currency. “But the most damning idea is to remove our dollars entirely, and replace them instead with Monopoly Money,” said Romney.
Both Parker Brothers and the White House deny both accusations, calling them “ridiculous” and “expected”. “But I will say this,” said Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary, “you gotta admit there is no end to the laughs generated by the Republican Party.”
One campaign advisor wished to clarify that the derogatory tone Romney took with the board game was absolutely unintentional, as “Mitt’s favorite part of the classic game is the Get Out of Jail Free card”.
“I do not condone the act of replacing currency,” said VP pick Paul Ryan, “but I am pressing my party to pass legislation enabling our members to make that particular card a reality.”
In related news, God released a press statement addressing the accusation, simply saying quote, “Mitt, put a cork in it”, end quote.