After the horrific murders of Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans in Benghazi, GOP nominee Mitt Romney was quick to politicize Obama’s response. “He said that he sympathizes with the terrorists who committed these atrocities, from what I chose to listen to,” said Romney. “I’m not concerned with his entire statements, and I never will be.”
Hearing of these comments, John McCain expressed his dismay. “Not only were Mitt Romney’s remarks hurtful and wrong, but they clearly sounded like something I would have said, and I don’t appreciate Romney’s imitation of me.”
The White House quickly rebutted Romney’s response. Press Secretary Jay Carney said, “the President would like to inform Mr. Romney that the horrific event would not be tolerated, and he clearly does not sympathize for those responsible. Also, this is not the time to politicize something.” He then added, “…dipshit”.
The GOP’s response to Romney’s remarks were swift and apologetic. “We in the Republican Party are disappointed by our nominee’s reaction, and after careful consideration, we are discussing plans to nominate a second pick. But Clint Eastwood has not returned our calls.”
Rob Portman sided with Romney saying that he didn’t have all of the facts of what happened, but would support Romney nonetheless.
“I was watching Fox News at the time of the attack, so clearly I missed any important news…”
In related news, McCain later said that “none of this would have happened if I was elected President in 2008, so nyah nyah nyah….”