White House Encourages Romney to Keep Talking, Securing Second Term for Obama

WASHINGTON – Today the White House confessed their admiration for GOP nominee Mitt Romney.  An advisor close to Obama said that “the President could not ask for a better bump to his campaign than what Mr. Romney has said recently”.

He was referring to Romney’s definition of middle class as being “$200,000 to $250,000 or less”, his promise that the anti-U.S. protests in the Middle East would not happen on his watch, and his admiration for Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.

“We at the White House can’t wait until he makes another public statement,” Press Secretary Jay Carney said today.  “To be perfectly honest, I live for this stuff.  God, I love my job!”

Numbers for Romney have dipped considerably following the Republican National Convention, most people attributing the plunge to Mitt Romney opening his mouth.  “It’s a sad trend to say the least,” said a Gallup poll conductor.  “Our fear is that he will say more things in the future that will make him sound out of touch with America, as well as the World.  It’s really unfair to the Obama administration, as the presidential race should be challenging at least.”

The Romney campaign declined to comment on the White House reaction, as well as the dwindling poll numbers, only to say that “Romney’s plan for America is going to change the way people think, in that if he is elected, thinking will no longer be an issue.”

In related news, Ann Romney insists that her husband is likable and in touch with people.  “It just takes him a longer than average time warming up to people whom he considers inferior.”

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By clavius42

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