Today Rep. Paul Ryan held a special news conference to make a special request of the White House.
“I want to request an apology from Vice President Biden for constantly interrupting me during the debate,” said Ryan. “When I prepare my lies, I need time to articulate them, so people can get the full effect of the crap that I sling.” He then stamped his feet and vowed he would hold his breath until the White House agreed.
Many Conservative pundits defended Ryan, saying that “the future Vice President should not be blasted by the present Vice President with carefully thought out facts and explanations. These things are not part of our platform, and as such, Ryan was not fully prepared.”
Biden responded to the demand for the apology by laughing derisively and citing an evening of “malarkey”. “If Junior wants me to say I’m sorry, he’ll have to back it up with something of substance. And judging from what I saw last night, that ain’t gonna happen!”
The White House did announce that Biden is planning to lend his can of whoop ass to Obama for his next debate. “Romney won’t see it coming, but will probably say he did afterwards,” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney.
One topic from last night’s debate which ignited the need for an apology was regarding women’s rights. “What women are really concerned with are jobs and the economy,” said Ryan today. Biden quickly responded. “I’m pretty sure a woman contemplating abortion because of incest or rape could give a shit about jobs or the economy…”