Last night many heralded President Obama as the clear victor in his town hall debate with Mitt Romney.
“We couldn’t be more enthused,” said Press Secretary Jay Carney. “It was a big win for the President, and most importantly, it was a huge win for actual facts!”
Fox News, however, insisted that the debate was a victory for Romney, according to their new panel Team Oblivious, comprised of Sean Hannity, Gretchen Carlson, Charles Krauthammer, and Dr. Keith Ablow. “It was also clear that the moderator Candy Crowley was suffering some sort of pro-Obama dementia, not unlike one displayed by Biden last week,” said Ablow. “Of course, that may just be my delusions talking, one of which is that I am an actual psychiatrist.”
Many people polled today about who won last night’s debate were slow to answer, many still recovering from a very successful drinking game started during the evening called “I Know What It Takes”.
A body language expert on CNN said that only after watching Romney for a few minutes into the debate, he wouldn’t have been surprised if Romney had started stamping his feet and holding his breath. “I’ve seen children with better people skills, some of whom haven’t learned yet how to be a dick in public.”
Twitter was abuzz with comments such as “if Romney’s performance in the last debate was ‘Casino Royale’, this one was ‘Quantum of Solace'”, and
“Here’s the towel, Governor Romney. Feel free to throw it in.”
There was however, a general consensus by the media that if Mitt Romney is not elected in November, he would have a very successful future as a game show host…