After the surprising success of VP pick Paul Ryan’s photo op in a soup kitchen in Youngstown, Ohio, Ryan continued to bust into any available shelter along the campaign path.
“We were greeted with people who were more than happy to show us the door, so we walked in without announcement and gave the homeless quite a surprise!” said one Ryan advisor. “Well, they would have been surprised, if anyone had actually been there during Mr. Ryan’s visit.”
The vice presidential candidate was more than happy to smile for the camera as he simulated the washing and scrubbing of various dishes and pans, promising that he would do the same by simulating concern for health care benefits.
“If the elections were held today, I guarantee that Ryan would be hailed as the savior of voucher supporters, and a helluva workout calendar model,” said House Speaker John Boehner.
Ryan has been very pleased with responses from charity organizers. “I can’t tell you how many people have walked up to me and tried to physically embrace my neck, or even offer to show me contents of their dumpsters.”
The Ryan campaign also has plans to join local police on calls, giving him the opportunity to have photos with criminals, where he is pretending to handcuff them.
“But I will not hold a handgun, because I came from a traditional family of a man and woman, and not a single parent family where terrorism is encouraged…”