Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, after claiming that pregnancy from rape is “something God intended”, was greeted enthusiastically by Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin on Fox News today.
“With our presidential candidate’s endorsement, Mr. Mourdock and I will start the Get Tough on Women campaign, and that alone should secure our seats,” said Akin. “It’s time for women to acknowledge their vaginal security systems and God’s intentions for them.”
The Romney campaign was very quick to denounce any comments or association with Mourdock or Akin, but during a speech in Indianapolis, Paul Ryan said that he will endorse both candidates. “I believe I can speak for Mitt when I say that men like Mourdock and Akin are what the GOP are made of – strong, decisive men who know the place of women is not their place.”
Romney was very quick to deny any comments that Ryan said, and also said that he still denounces any comments or association with Mourdock or Akin. His advisors also recommended that Romney should politely request that Ryan should “shut the fuck up”.
The new Get Tough on Women campaign received accolades from everyone on the Fox & Friends show, even Gretchen Carlson. “It is very clear that even though I am a woman, I should know my place in our society, and realize my identity as a woman who wants to be man, much like the opposite of Ann Coulter.”
The Obama campaign declined to comment on the new developments, only to say that Romney and his colleagues should just keep talking, and offered to lend the presidential candidate “a symbolic shovel”.
In related news, the Taliban sent a message via YouTube supporting the Get Tough on Women campaign. “It brought tears to our eyes,” said one member.