Military Personnel Having Illicit Affairs Asked Not to Use Office E-Mail

Days after decorated Gen. David Petraeus’ resignation as director of the CIA, due to his affair with his biographer Paula Broadwell, another high-ranking general, Marine Gen. John Allen, is in the news for possibly having an affair
with socialite Jill Kelley, who was allegedly threatened by Broadwell.

As a result, the military is encouraging any of their personnel who happen to be having any sort of illicit sexual affairs to please refrain from using their office e-mail addresses to “flirt with and/or sexually titillate” their secret lovers.

“We are basically asking people who are not interested in creating more scandals, to consider another means of communication,” said a military official . “We are putting forth the question, ‘would you rather be dry humping this person if you weren’t busy e-mailing them?’ If the answer is ‘yes’, then perhaps it would be best not to use your office e-mail to correspond.”

The FBI reported the discovery of 20,000 to 30,000 pages of emails and other communications between Kelley and Allen.  In layman’s terms, that’s equivalent to two novels by Stephen King.

As a result of the scandals, both Broadwell and Kelley have been getting numerous offers from many talk show hosts, reality show producers, and frantic ones from Playboy.

John McCain offered his two cents about the growing dilemma for the military.  “It is becoming increasingly clear that General Petraeus planned this affair to divert attention from his testifying about Benghazi, and not what the Republican party would have preferred, which was to divert attention from the ‘fiscal cliff’.”

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By clavius42

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