Today Fox News President Roger Ailes announced that he and his “cracker jack” staff of his 24 hour news network have had it with people making fun of their claim that there has been a “war on Christmas”.
“I now declare a war on these folks,” said Ailes. “It has become painfully clear that people who mock us need a bitch slap of reality. And if we are the fair and balanced network we purport ourselves to be, it is our duty.”
For the last few years, Fox News has been claiming that there has been a nonstop “war on Christmas”, which threatens to diminish the Christian aspects of the popular holiday. But many critics have blasted the network for “delusional behavior which dwarfs their usual delusional behavior”.
“Look around you,” said one critic. “It’s just sad, that they seem to be oblivious to everything you see and hear during this time of year. If they want a war, first they need to surrender to their battle with reality.”
Bill O’Reilly defended Ailes’ decision, but adds that “if I felt that Christianity was a religion, I would be much more upset about this.”
Fox and Friends hosts Mike Doocy, Gretchen Carlson, and that other guy are planning a special twelve part series called “The Twelve Days of Denial”. “Of course, if you have ever watched our show, it’s more like 365 days a year,” said Carlson.