Today marks the leaving of Pope Benedict XVI, as well as the eve of the “sequestration” – a U.S. legal procedure in which automatic spending cuts are triggered. Author Dan Brown, famous for the novel The DaVinci Code, claims he sees a connection.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if this whole thing was concocted by a secret organization headed by members of the Knights Templar,” said Brown today. “The American Congress, particularly members of the GOP, are clearly being manipulated by unseen forces, and the Pope resigned amidst a flood of scandals within the Vatican. This may be a lame connection at best, but that kind of bizarre deduction hasn’t hurt my book sales.”
Members of the GOP deny any connection to the Templars or the Pope, and insist that “no unseen forces tell us what to do – we are perfectly capable of doing absolutely nothing without any help. But we do have a connection in that we also use religion so that we will be infallible to poorly mishandled situations.”
“The Emeritus Sequestration” should be on bookshelves as early as this weekend. When asked about the amazingly quick release date, Brown said “you didn’t expect me to do research, did you?”