To Glass or Not to Glass?


Google is coming out with a wearable computer with a head-mounted display which displays information in a smartphone-like hands-free format.  It can interact with the Internet via natural language voice commands.  They call it Google Glass.

I call it a mistake.

People have been known to wreck their cars, hit other people, even kill them (and in some cases, theirselves) because they were busy texting their friends.  I have seen someone literally run into a wall because they were having a conversation on their cell phone.

I have seen teenagers sitting across from each other, never making eye-contact, texting people on their smartphones.  They may have been also texting each other.  I drove past “surprised” a long time ago.

We live in a world where people are more and more oblivious to the world around them.  Wearing glasses that make people even more oblivious probably isn’t a step in the best direction.

Actual human contact is healthy, and needless to say, crucial.  Maybe companies should put their money and time into items that would promote physical interaction and encourage actual conversations.

Maybe someone should do something before we become the U.S.of ADHD.

By clavius42

Mission Accomplished

You all know the history.  You’ve heard the quotes.  And sadly a good portion of you watch a news channel that at one time was completely devoted to him.

And now he has a library.

A man who was elected President of the United States due to a recount, who waged war on a country and people who had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, and even plunged us into a national debt that we are still recovering from.

I am constantly amazed by the shortness of memory many people exhibit when it comes to those who who have done truly horrific things.  Or maybe they don’t want to remember, want to shove it into a closet with other things they forgot or chose to forget.

But I remember. I remember when the war on Iraq was announced.  When Bush stood on that aircraft carrier and said the battle had been won.  The many years that followed after he had made that statement.  I remember the constant lies by the administration, and people who were ostracized for disputing them.  I guess I remember things differently.

Because even though there have been many pundits and television show hosts and panels and articles written about what Bush accomplished, I remember it this way because that’s how it really was.

We live in a world where people who have hurt America and alienated us from the rest of the world are given accolades.  They lie, and they claim that what they did was just, and no one can touch them.

I hope that these words I have written will dust off the cobwebs of your memory, and you will remember the past as it truly was.

Then unlike what Bush had promised on that aircraft carrier, my mission will truly be accomplished.

By clavius42

George W. Bush Library Opens This Week, Will Feature More Than One Book

George Bush Presidential Library and Museum

DALLAS – Thursday will mark the grand opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum.

“It is a tribute to my presidency,” said Bush.  “But it is also a tribute to past presidents who, unlike me, actually did their job.”

According to special guests who attended a preview early this week, when you first walk in, a banner that says “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” is draped over the entrance to the library, and George W. Bush’s recorded voice  greets you with “look what I did, Daddy!”

Special note: In accordance with the Second Amendment, there is no metal detector at the entrance.

The new library will feature such kid-friendly exclusives as the Dick Cheney Puppet Theater and the My Pet Goat Storytime Room.  The staff says that future learning presentations will include such videos as “Is Our Children Educated?” and “You Go to School With the Books You Have”.

There is a detailed alphabetical section about every conflict Bush was involved in during his presidency, though some claim that the letters W, M, and D cannot be found anywhere in the Iraq section.

One controversial feature of the museum section is the “What If Al Gore Was Elected Instead?” exhibit, which features a detailed listing of how the country would have been different if Gore had won in 2000.  “It’s a numerical list, and it constantly changes,” said the curator.  “It might even require a recount when all is said and done.”

By clavius42

America Seriously Considering Disowning Congress


Today the Senate voted down the bipartisan Manchin-Toomey amendment, a background check expansion that would strengthen gun control measures.  This is yet another in an increasing number of delayed decisions and dismissals of important legislation.

President Barack Obama was reported to have “thrown up his hands in disgust”.

A majority of Americans have now said that they are considering a proposal of their own – to disown Congress.

“I don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore,” said one angry citizen.  “They have done, oh, nothing for so long, it’s become expected. I put more stock in my foot odor pads than these so-called ‘lawmakers’.  At least with my pads, I know I will get results,” said one angry citizen.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell said that they were very proud of the rejection of the amendment.

“If this decision shows anything, it is that the importance of our careers far outweighs that of the well being of our nation,” said Reid.  “If the American people persist to expect common sense and even a governing body which gets things done about important issues affecting them, then I would have to say they really don’t understand how Congress works.”

“We are planning another month-long break starting next week to recover,” added McConnell.  “But there are plans to pass something at least sometime before the end of the year.  We’re pacing ourselves.”

According to a recent study, the approval rate for Congress could possibly be the first in the history of the United States to drop into negative numbers.

In related news, NRA Executive VP Wayne LaPierre said he was very excited about the decision.  “The GOP in particular is worth every penny we paid for them,” said LaPierre.

By clavius42

What’s After “Worse”?

So much hate.
Hate for an opposing political party.  Hate for other people online.  Hate for women.  Hate for people who have a different sexual preference.
Bombing and shooting people.  Bombing and shooting children.

Things went from bad to worse.  But what’s after “worse”?  Because that’s what it is now.

I read posts and magazine articles, and watch the news, and wonder why the first response to anything now is an attack.  People say something totally innocuous, even trying to point out something that might increase understanding.  But their comments are immediately shot down, and the person is labeled as a “fascist” or “communist” or worse.

Authors who have nothing but contempt for anyone who don’t appreciate their beliefs.  Wishes of retribution.  Wishes to overthrow.  Wishes of death.

The welfare of children, and the homeless, and homosexuals, and racial minorities, ignored or attacked solely for the purpose of personal or political gain.

Hate speech.  Hate mail.  Hate crimes.  Hate.

The “twenty-first” in the twenty-first century is just a number.  There has been no evolution.  No progress.
It seems that in all this time, we have learned nothing.

There are good people.  There are great ideas.  There is peace, and friendship, and there is love.  And then there are people who want to destroy all of those things.  And for what?  Because they can?

I am tired of all the hate I see and hear.  I am tired of man’s inhumanity toward man.  And women.  And children.  I am tired of the apathy, the obliviousness, the disregard for people who share the same planet as us all.

But I also want to know why people hate, feel the need to destroy others with their words, their actions, their violence.  I want to know why they feel these things still qualify them to be referred to as “human beings”.  You are given this wonderful gift of life, and all you can do is think of ways to take away the humanity, the soul, even the life of others.

I wish that the people who hate could experience the horror that they inflict.  Maybe then they would know what they were doing, maybe then they would feel.

I don’t give a damn if you read this, or don’t read this, or even share it.
This is only how I feel things are.  You have your own ideas, your own way of looking at the world.

But if your ideas are only of hate, I ask you to please ask yourself “why”.
I will also tell you a fact that may elude you – like it or not, you occupy the same space as us all.  And like it or not, love, understanding, acceptance, and friendship are all that it means to be a human being.

Maybe you should reconsider what you do to others.  Because after all the pain you have inflicted, when all is said and done, you will lose.  And if you keep hating, you will keep losing, until all that exists of you is a bad joke about a bad joke.

Maybe someday this will be a world without hate.  Without fear.  Without violence.  Maybe someday we will finally have peace.

And when that day finally comes, rest assured, those who hate –
You will not be missed.

By clavius42

Kim Jong-un Inspired by 1983 Classic “WarGames”


PYONGYANG – North Korean leader Kim Jong-un told members of his government yesterday that “after watching a pirated copy of a new movie made by American capitalist pigs”, he was inspired to start a nuclear war.  The movie in question has turned out to be 1983’s classic “WarGames”.

“I saw the technology in that movie, which clearly is more advanced than what we have now,” said Jong-un, “and decided to beat the Americans at their own game.”

Some advisors to Jong-un, who have gathered intel about new American technologies, have been shunned by the dictator.  “The pigs are trying to fool us, with their “windows” software and little round discs that are supposed to be more powerful than our floppies.  Let’s see their non-DOS computers try to master the intricacies of Pong!”

In related news, a new update for Windows 8 has been announced that, if successful, will make users of Microsoft software forget that the operating system ever existed…

By clavius42

“Mitchgate” Rocks GOP


Today it was discovered that Sen. Mitch “Pudding Face” McConnell was planning to discredit his possible rival in 2014, actress Ashley Judd.

The plot was revealed when the magazine Mother Jones said they obtained a recording by an anonymous person who might have bugged a private strategy session in February.

“The recording suggests that I was intending to use Judd’s past struggles with depression and her religious views to aid my campaign.  Nothing could be further from the truth,” said McConnell.  “Nothing could hurt my credibility more than my own comments.  Seriously, have you heard what I have said recently??”

The incident, named “Mitchgate”, has incited the Republican Party.  “This kind of underhanded, possibly illegal behavior is usually the work of our party, and we are particularly offended that the Left would stoop to our standards.”

Ashley Judd has since announced that she is dropping out of the race.  “Politicians are more corrupt and just plain messed up than Hollywood will ever be…”

By clavius42

Kim Jong-un Replaces Fox News as Top Fear Mongerer


In a recent Gallup poll, a majority of Americans said that they felt that Fox News is losing its edge on scaring people, and that North Korea leader Kim Jong-un now holds the coveted title of “top fear mongerer of 2013”.

This was most likely inspired by a recent YouTube video produced in Pyongyang depicting a blurry photo of Jong-un falling over a bunch of stick figures – symbolizing America – to the tune of “Funky Cold Medina”.

“I’ll admit, I have no idea what it meant,” said one viewer.  “But it was a lot more creative than the usual ‘Obama will bring about the end of the world’ and  ‘war on whatever holiday we think doesn’t glorify Jesus’ material Fox has been throwing around for the past few years.”

The North Korean leader has sworn that he will destroy America, and also South Korea, and “anyone else he can think of”.

“I’ve got nukes, dudes, and I’m gonna use ’em,” he said in a broadcast earlier today.  “Really guys!  Why are you looking at me like that?”  He then proceeded to stamp his feet, then had a temper tantrum.

Roger Ailes, president of Fox News, expressed his admiration for the North Korean leader.  “It reminded me of what would happen if Glenn Beck ran a country…”

In related news, Fox News accused Jim Carrey of slander due to his recent negative comments about the news network.  “This sort of name-calling is expected from a no-talent comedian has-been Liberal chowderhead.  And you can quote us on that!”

By clavius42