“Mitchgate” Rocks GOP


Today it was discovered that Sen. Mitch “Pudding Face” McConnell was planning to discredit his possible rival in 2014, actress Ashley Judd.

The plot was revealed when the magazine Mother Jones said they obtained a recording by an anonymous person who might have bugged a private strategy session in February.

“The recording suggests that I was intending to use Judd’s past struggles with depression and her religious views to aid my campaign.  Nothing could be further from the truth,” said McConnell.  “Nothing could hurt my credibility more than my own comments.  Seriously, have you heard what I have said recently??”

The incident, named “Mitchgate”, has incited the Republican Party.  “This kind of underhanded, possibly illegal behavior is usually the work of our party, and we are particularly offended that the Left would stoop to our standards.”

Ashley Judd has since announced that she is dropping out of the race.  “Politicians are more corrupt and just plain messed up than Hollywood will ever be…”

By clavius42

One comment on ““Mitchgate” Rocks GOP

  1. You rock, Newsosphere, and so does Ashley Judd. As for ‘Mitchgate’, it seems to us that Mitch is made out of rock. Really dense rock.

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