DALLAS – Thursday will mark the grand opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum.
“It is a tribute to my presidency,” said Bush. “But it is also a tribute to past presidents who, unlike me, actually did their job.”
According to special guests who attended a preview early this week, when you first walk in, a banner that says “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!” is draped over the entrance to the library, and George W. Bush’s recorded voice greets you with “look what I did, Daddy!”
Special note: In accordance with the Second Amendment, there is no metal detector at the entrance.
The new library will feature such kid-friendly exclusives as the Dick Cheney Puppet Theater and the My Pet Goat Storytime Room. The staff says that future learning presentations will include such videos as “Is Our Children Educated?” and “You Go to School With the Books You Have”.
There is a detailed alphabetical section about every conflict Bush was involved in during his presidency, though some claim that the letters W, M, and D cannot be found anywhere in the Iraq section.
One controversial feature of the museum section is the “What If Al Gore Was Elected Instead?” exhibit, which features a detailed listing of how the country would have been different if Gore had won in 2000. “It’s a numerical list, and it constantly changes,” said the curator. “It might even require a recount when all is said and done.”