TALES OF THE OPEN MIC!!!

Note: My usual political skewering will return soon!  Stay tuned!  

Well folks, it’s been quite an education doing open mic again.
…remind me why I’m doing it again?

Last night’s show was the most entertaining by far.

We had three (3) comedians who were drunk – one who would not get off the stage and continued to have a yelling match with one of the audience members.  The other two each seemed to be experiencing some sort of emotional breakdown.

Oh wait, there were four drunk comics!  That guy who brought his notebook up on stage, but still couldn’t remember his jokes…

Maybe clubs should start offering complimentary Cymbalta…

Then there was the female comic whose every third word was “shih” …

And a white comic who dressed like a “gangsta” type – kinda like Robin Thicke – who must have really thought it was a good idea to do his routine in front of a predominantly African-American audience…

And the mike stand fell apart.  Repeatedly.

All in all, truly a night to remember.

If someone were to try to mug me when I was walking to my car last night, I would have just said, “you have no idea what kind of night I had.  Whatever you do to me is nothing compared to my experience at the comedy club.  So save yourself some trouble and just keep walking.”

Thanks!  I’m here ’til Thursday!  Try the waitress!  Tip your veal!

By clavius42

We Are All The ‘N’ Word

Since history began, people have exerted their power over the weak, enjoying the idea of domination.  Slavery was a big business before bankers came onto the scene, and many of the ideas have been adopted through the centuries.

I have come to the conclusion that when all is said and done, we are all, indeed, the ‘n’ word.

I’m not afraid to say it – and you shouldn’t be, either.  It’s a proven fact. I mean seriously, haven’t we all felt like we were the ‘n’ word at some point in our lives, maybe even more than once?

We are constantly manipulated by politicians, advertisers, and religious leaders to do what they want us to do, because they feel we have no free will, or should not.  Certainly that is evidence of our status as being the ‘n’ word.

Blacks, Whites, Spanish, Asians – the ‘n’ word defines us, no matter our race.

So be afraid no longer, and say the ‘n’ word out loud.  For it is who we are.

We are all nuts.

By clavius42

Reince Priebus Urges Boycott On Any Network Not Named “Fox”

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WASHINGTON – Yesterday RNC chairman Reince Priebus a.k.a “The Human Weasel”, threatened to boycott any news network that did not include the word “Fox”.

“The fact that two of these networks will be airing specials on Hillary Clinton, this close to the 2016 presidential elections, is obviously a ploy by the left wing lamestream media,” said Priebus.

“I will seek a binding vote stating that the RNC will neither partner with these networks in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates they sponsor.  As a matter of fact, we already have a serious offer on the table, and if these networks refuse to cease and desist, you will be watching all future GOP debates on Comedy Central!”

Fox News received full support by Priebus and other members of the GOP in their proposal to counteract with specials of their own featuring possible nominees Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Rick Perry.

“These specials will spotlight their successes and the ways they have benefitted the American people,” said a Fox News representative. Between the four of them, we are confident that we can make a special that will run at least thirty minutes, which we will air continuously for our upcoming ‘2016: The Race Begins’ weekend this month.”

In other news, Microsoft is very confident that the latest incarnation of Internet Explorer will enable users to download the browsers they would rather use 25% faster…

By clavius42