WASHINGTON – Yesterday RNC chairman Reince Priebus a.k.a “The Human Weasel”, threatened to boycott any news network that did not include the word “Fox”.
“The fact that two of these networks will be airing specials on Hillary Clinton, this close to the 2016 presidential elections, is obviously a ploy by the left wing lamestream media,” said Priebus.
“I will seek a binding vote stating that the RNC will neither partner with these networks in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates they sponsor. As a matter of fact, we already have a serious offer on the table, and if these networks refuse to cease and desist, you will be watching all future GOP debates on Comedy Central!”
Fox News received full support by Priebus and other members of the GOP in their proposal to counteract with specials of their own featuring possible nominees Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Rick Perry.
“These specials will spotlight their successes and the ways they have benefitted the American people,” said a Fox News representative. Between the four of them, we are confident that we can make a special that will run at least thirty minutes, which we will air continuously for our upcoming ‘2016: The Race Begins’ weekend this month.”
In other news, Microsoft is very confident that the latest incarnation of Internet Explorer will enable users to download the browsers they would rather use 25% faster…