Today Texas Senator Ted Cruz vehemently denied any involvement with the recent government shutdown.
“I do not recall saying anything in support of what happened, or even working to make sure it would happen,” said Cruz. “It’s just another blatant attempt by the Liberal media to take things I said in context.”
“If you really want someone to blame, put it on homosexuals. Whenever I need a scapegoat, I use them! Like they would ever fight back.”
House Speaker John Boehner commented on Cruz’s statements. “Are you kidding me??” he said. “I’ve been compromising my beliefs and working as a mouthpiece for a party that says something and then claims they didn’t say it? If I didn’t know any better, I would think I was in the Republican party!”
Cruz has garnered a huge following since his non-filibuster against Obamacare last year, and there has been talk of a presidential run.
The senator was visibly angry after hearing about this. “Supporting a government shutdown, trying to destroy Obamacare, and now this stuff about running for President? Hasn’t anyone listened to a word I have said?”
In not-at-all related news, after New York Governor Cuomo’s remarks about Sean Hannity leaving the state, an offer has been made by Russian President Vladimir Putin, involving asylum for the Fox News host, as well as Justin Bieber, “and any other people North America no longer wants”…