“It’s much easier with illegal immigrants, because they’re brown, and they don’t speak English. If somehow we could make all gays brown and teach them Spanish, it would make my job much easier.”
Many businesses have protested the discriminatory act, saying that they have the right to decide for themselves who to serve. “We have a newsflash for Governor Brewer,” said one restaurant owner. “It’s the freakin’ twenty-first century, not the sixties!”
Brewer was quick to counter with explaining that she was only trying to uphold the American way of life. “White, wealthy, and Conservative,” said Brewer. Why on earth would anyone want to be anything else?”
In somewhat related news, the NRA is suing Texas for preventing teenagers from purchasing firearms. “It is every teenager’s God-given right to blow away another teenager,” said Vice President Wayne LaPierre.