CNN Mourns Loss of Mystery of Flight 370

140320093709-malaysia-examining-potential-debris-foreman-newday-00005107-horizontal-gallery

As more and more evidence is being revealed that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 has indeed crashed into the Indian Ocean, 24 hour news network CNN has professed its grief.

“Speculating about what happened to the flight was our meat and potatoes for the past few weeks,” said host Wolf Blitzer.  “Without any actual facts, we were free to make up stuff and utilize cutting edge technology to show what the plane looked like, the flight path, and what aliens might have done with the passengers.”

While there are still a few mysteries as to what actually caused the crash, many still admit they are disappointed.  “Once the plane has crashed, the magic is gone,” said CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker.  “It is a sad day for what we call news.  Also, it’s pretty bad for the families of the passengers, too.”

One host is still remaining positive, however.  “There might still be a chance that the mystery of Flight 370 was swallowed by a black hole,” said Don Lemon.  “So I still have hope.”

In related news, Fox News Network will be airing a special documentary this weekend called “Flight 370: What Did Obama Know?”

Advertisements
By clavius42

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s