CNN Mourns Loss of Mystery of Flight 370


As more and more evidence is being revealed that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 has indeed crashed into the Indian Ocean, 24 hour news network CNN has professed its grief.

“Speculating about what happened to the flight was our meat and potatoes for the past few weeks,” said host Wolf Blitzer.  “Without any actual facts, we were free to make up stuff and utilize cutting edge technology to show what the plane looked like, the flight path, and what aliens might have done with the passengers.”

While there are still a few mysteries as to what actually caused the crash, many still admit they are disappointed.  “Once the plane has crashed, the magic is gone,” said CNN Worldwide President Jeff Zucker.  “It is a sad day for what we call news.  Also, it’s pretty bad for the families of the passengers, too.”

One host is still remaining positive, however.  “There might still be a chance that the mystery of Flight 370 was swallowed by a black hole,” said Don Lemon.  “So I still have hope.”

In related news, Fox News Network will be airing a special documentary this weekend called “Flight 370: What Did Obama Know?”

By clavius42

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