Chris Christie Clears Himself of Bridge Scandal

ap_Christie_ac_131105.jpg_16x9_992

NEW JERSEY – Earlier this week, New Jersey governor Chris Christie was very pleased to announce that, after a very detailed and thorough investigation by himself, he was not liable for the September shutdown of the George Washington Bridge.

“I was very meticulous with myself,” said Christie.  “I left no stone unturned, no possible clue undiscovered.  I would like to thank me on behalf of me for a job very well done.”

Chris Christie’s investigation pointed not to the governor, but instead to everyone else.

“If there are any guilty parties to be accused, the findings clearly put the blame on anyone who is not me,” said Christie.

When asked about the missing Hurricane Sandy funds, Christie put any fears to rest.  “I am now looking into that as well for myself, and I am confident that I will be clearing myself of any wrongdoing.”

In related news, Russian president Vladimir Putin denies putting any Russian soldiers in Crimea, based on information obtained by Putin…

Advertisements
By clavius42

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s