Knowledge is Power: Things I Learned from Watching Movies

1) A character always overhears a conversation and gets the wrong idea.

2) When walking into a room, someone always answers a question they could not possibly have heard.

3) Two characters attempt to kiss, only to be interrupted.

4) One person has vital information to tell another, but after the other person says what they want to say and asks what they wanted, they say “nothing”, or lie.

5) Professional killers can destroy everything but the person they’re trying to kill.

6) An evil mastermind always explains their plan to the secret agent they have caught.

7) Characters can jump across buildings and catch a ledge without fracturing any bones.

8) Characters can also jump down from tall heights, but not break their legs.

9) Cops can kick in doors, no matter what the door is made of.

10) Characters always point a gun at someone, but they don’t cock it, which normally would give their foe a chance to shoot them or escape.

11) Characters who are thrown through glass windows never get cut.

12) After making love, either the couple will be fully dressed in bed, or the man will have a sheet up to his waist and the woman will have a sheet up to her neck.

13) Even in the seediest areas of a city, no one locks their cars.

14) People always leave their keys in their cars, often in the ignition.

15) Everyone knows how to drive motorcycles, boats, and planes.

16) A person who has never picked up a gun will shoot their enemies with accuracy that their assailants don’t have.

17) When someone punches another person in a bar, a bar fight will always start up.

18) If someone gets mad because their cell phone isn’t working, they always throw it.

19) Anyone can hack into high security computers.

20) Family photos always look like they are professionally done.

21) If a character runs across a street, nine times out of ten they will be hit by a car, but they won’t be injured.

22) In a fight, the woman always chooses a vase to break over the bad guy’s head.

23) Being hit with a bottle or a vase does not give a person a concussion.

24) No matter how thick glass is, anyone can jump through it.

25) When one character tells another, “you look terrible!”, the other character doesn’t look any different.

26) Women always wake up in the morning with their hair and makeup perfect.

27) If a man runs down a beam or pipe, he will slip and fall on his crotch, but not be injured.

28) Anyone can breathe underwater indefinitely.

29) If a bad guy is shooting from a balcony and he is shot, he will fall through the railing in front of him.

30) When running from an explosion, people are not injured or killed by shrapnel or debris.

31) Everyone knows the phone numbers and houses where other people live.

32) After the bad guy wrecks his car, the good guy runs up to the driver side, only to discover that the bad guy has disappeared.

33) If there’s a car chase, there’s an endangered fruit stand.

34. A semi truck will always appear when cars are in both lanes.

35. A superhuman villain can throw a normal person across a room, usually into a wall or shelf, but the normal person will not be injured.

36. If the good guy is fighting the bad guy and scratches his cheek, that’s when the fight really begins.

37. PCs boot up and instantly go online, even if the character has dial-up.

38. When there’s a virus on a PC, there will be a big red screen saying “VIRUS”.

39. Alcoholics and people who eat junk food have perfect bodies.

40. All nerdy women look like supermodels when they take off their glasses.

By clavius42

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