GOP Wages War on Obama, Earth


The battle of the Republican Party against President Barack Obama continues, with the latest reports showing that the party now has their sights on who they call a frequent collaborator with the President, the planet Earth.

“This so-called ‘Earth Day’, with the selfish focus on this planet’s treatment,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell, “well, it smacks of Obama’s long standing campaign to preserve his presidency just so he can selfishly make sure people are insured and prosperous. If we can concentrate our efforts on the elimination of Earth, Obama will have one less supporter.”

Many members of the GOP have concluded that the planet has been “stingy” with its resources, particularly oil. “We know there is more oil to be had, but just like Obama, there is an evident refusal by Earth to compromise. And if we had our way, we would drain the planet of every last drop. We would also get rid of the word ‘compromise’,” said House Speaker John Boehner.

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh weighed in with his thoughts.  “This ‘climate change’, with its increasingly destructive consequences, reminds me of a baby not getting his way and throwing a temper tantrum. And unlike when I do it, it’s just childish behavior! Who does this Earth think it is, anyway?”

Sources in Congress are reporting that a committee is being formed as a contingency to what they call “a dire future for America”. The World Termination Foundation, or WTF, aims to destroy the image of the planet, thereby severing another link to Obama, in hopes of securing a Republican presidency in 2016.

“And of course,” Boehner added, “keeping their best interests in mind, we are counting on the American people to pay for it…”

In other news, many at Fox News deny the disrespectful, possibly racist treatment of Obama as president.  “He is the best treated African-American president in history,” said host Eric Bolling. 

By clavius42

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