Rick Perry’s Confidence Undaunted by Lack of Intelligence


AUSTIN, TX – Texas Governor Rick Perry says that he is running for President in 2016, no matter what current public opinion and members of his own political party think of him.

“If I let something like common sense bother me,” says Perry, “I wouldn’t be where I am today.  I have never let my lack of intelligence inform me, and I’m not about to start now!”

“We see more character out of an individual by how you perform after you fail, so I expect to have a lot more character after the election.”

Perry says he is spreading his message across the country on a tour where he speaks about the Red State policies and how they benefit Americans.  “It’s not too late for people to reconsider your political beliefs,” says one Perry advisor.  “but if you believe in Perry, you already have.”

According to a recent Washington Post/ABC News poll, Perry finished seventh among possible GOP contenders Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, Mike Huckabee, Paul Ryan, Chris Christie, and Marco Rubio, with only Ted Cruz and that celery guy from “Veggie Tales” in close competition with his spot.

“We’re putting together a new campaign for Governor Perry,” says the head of promotions, “something along the lines of, ‘Rick Perry is the injection the American people need.'” 

Perry has a special message for his critics and assorted naysayers.  “When you look at the other candidates, I can’t be all that bad.  And if I do secure the Republican nomination, my debates will at least be entertaining.”

In other news, the GOP is putting together a bill which, if signed, will give the party permission to officially not be required to reveal their actual plans for the country.         

By clavius42

One comment on “Rick Perry’s Confidence Undaunted by Lack of Intelligence

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