For those of you who are considering another social network other than Facebook or Twitter, here are some helpful terms should you choose Google Plus. Which is better than both. Really.
Plusism – word which that implies something to do with Google+. Also a common medical disorder, as in “if you don’t eat better, there’s a good chance you’ll have a plusism…”
Circle Me – like “Friend me” on Facebook or “Follow me” on Twitter, but less creepy. Think of it as a group hug. With strangers. Okay, that is kinda creepy.
Circles – categories for organizing your social network ex. Animal Impersonators, Test Subjects, Scrubbing Bubbles, etc.. Also see:Levels of Hell, Dante
Comment – a response to a post with your own thoughts to show people how clever you are, or dispute their claims that you are not as clever as you are.
Comments – a list of 60 or less useless responses to a post, most off-subject. ex. post – This cat makes me LOL! – comment – i like bran flakes ur stupid
Communities – Discussion groups for specific subjects. Also the best way to lose followers if you mass invite. (not everyone likes cosplay guitar-playing dwarves)
Disable comments – prevent users from adding comments to your post. See assholes
What’s Hot – usually feel-good quotes, photos of nature, or rib-tickling memes. Watch out for feel-good rib-tickling memes of nature.
Events – special feature where you can accidentally invite the entire population of Google Plus to your event if you’re not careful. Also, a good way to lose friends.
Extended Circles – the circles of people who are in your circles. Basically like a huge gathering of several family reunions. And just as awkward.
Google Page – a specialized page whereupon you can advertise your product or group, usually only viewed by other people with pages, so they can recommend your page hoping that, in turn, you will recommend theirs. see: Circle of Life
Google Hangout – an online gathering via video conferencing technology. Usually plagued by assorted bugs preventing people from actually interacting with each other. note: television ads for Hangouts are a lie – the cake is too
Hangouts on Air – special video conferencing gathering which people can broadcast live for the five people who are interested in watching it on YouTube. note: Not to be confused with Hangouts on Ice
Hangouts on Ice – not to be confused with Hangouts on Air
Notifications – updates you receive on other Plussers activity. Also known as surveillance. see: stalking
Profile – information about you that other people can see. Like a work resume, note: you should make up lots of stuff about yourself. Everyone else does.
Share – repost an item originally posted by someone else. (don’t shoot the messenger BTW)
Spam – a canned precooked meat product. See: Ewww
Also unending ads from anonymous users. Also see: assholes
Stream – a stream with items shared by all of your circles. Also near impossible to keep up with most of the time.
Tag – tagging embarrassing photos of your friends for all to see. Also a good way to lose friends.
Thumbnail image – a small preview version of a photo.
Thumbnail video – a small preview version of a video.
Thumbnail – The nail on your thumb that you can take images of or film a video of.
Troll – a supernatural being in Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. Also, a real asshole on the Internet.
Webcam – an Internet-enabled camera connected to a computer. Perfect for showing people what you really look like. Also not recommended because people will see what you really look like.
Note: Clothing is not optional!
You May Know and Recommendations – Google’s suggestions for you indicating they have no clue as to what you really like or who you want to communicate with.